No, I'm not dead!!

No, I am not dead nor have I fallen off the face of the earth! Just life happens is all. Sometimes it is hard to keep up with this type of journal when all of everything else is going on. Since my last post the real estate and mortgage world has been turned up on its ear. And because I make my living in that world, I have been just a wee bit unraveled. The company I worked for is no longer in business (same as a great many small mortgage brokerages) and I now work for a real estate company pretty much doing the same thing from a different angle. But now, things are starting to settle a little bit and I have a little (very little) more security.

Dallas and I will be married 19 years next week! Wow!!! Time goes by so fast!! Strange how that happens! We have no idea of how we might celebrate it but I am sure it will be fun none the less! You know how certain anniversaries mean certain things, like the silver anniversary or the golden anniversary? Well I think we should start having special titles for the ones that make it past the 7-10 year mark. Maybe like......14 years...the stoic year(you haven't killed them yet) or the 17 year mark.....wowwww, the blind year (you have blessedly not noticed the sagging body parts or extra weight). I don't know....something like that at least.

But seriously, we have been extremely happy and could never think of each other not being here. He is my best friend, my confidant, my lover. He makes me a better person and I just could not imagine my life without him!! I wish this kind of love and life for everyone!!!

There is Goes Again

There is goes again....that feeling.....that feeling of discontent. Have you ever just had something brewing under the surface just waiting to erupt? Well I do. Problem is, I am not sure what "it" might be. I just sit here and know I am discontent with all around me and nothing in particular. I have been so crabby lately and my poor family has started treating me like that poor tired dog that sits over in the corner. The one you gently walk near to see if it will growl or snap at you. If it doesn't, you go in closer to see if it will let you pet it. If it growls, you run....quickly! I feel so sorry for them and they are so patient with me. My mother says its just the hormones or maybe the season. I am beginning to wonder if it is just me...am I turning into that cranky old dog? I just want something...not sure what that is either. I guess I am just having one of those days Mr. Weimer used to tell us about in chapel in high school..."A Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day!"

God Paints

That is the title of this picture.....God Paints. Who can look at pictures like this and think that it all came about because of an explosion in space? This wonderfully created masterpiece was done by inspired knowledge!! The beauty of our great home just amazes me and makes me stand in awe....just look around you....that one blade of green grass in a water starved yard....the wild flower that blooms over and over again....those beautiful fall trees in orange, red and gold! Those were intentionally put there by a great designer. I am grateful that God chose to allow me to see his canvas of paints!!

Is It Insanity?

Well those with children can hopefully understand this....I think I am going to just string my 16 year old up by his toes!!! Or I might just run into the night in my pajamas and babbling like an idiot! It is the same battle with him every school year. "Son, where is your homework?"..."it is in my notebook"....."where is your notebook?"......(shrug)"I don't know....probably in my locker."...."so how do you plan to do your homework when it is in your locker?"...."(shrug....again)I don't know"..."So it doesn't bother you that have an F in English?"..."(shrug....AGAIN)well, yeah...but...(sigh...then shrug....that bugger did it again!!)" I think that no court would convict me!!!!!! Same talk at least once a week.....every 9 weeks for 4 grading periods a school year! So, they say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results....that settles it.....I must be insane!! Could someone just give me a Valium and a padded room now!?!

It's Just a Scratch

Well, another Thanksgiving has come and gone. I don't know whether to be thankful or sad or both. I had wonderful Turkey Day with some friends and then went to Montgomery to see family. Wow, we are a roudy crew! There was my Mom and Dad, Me, Dallas, Corey, Kelsey and Mitchell. Then my brother, Matt, his girlfriend Sherrie and their 3 children Shaylee, Kaylee and Maddison. And while we stayed in a hotel, we converged on my poor sisterApril's house with her husband Kelvin and their children Kj and Kellan. Bless her heart, I don't think her house will ever be the same!! We played cards, watched games and ate food. Who could ask for more than that!! We watched my cousin Cathy get married to a wonderful man on Saturday and got back on the road home. Let me just say, life is not necessarily pleasant when your huge Okie husband wants to see his game(and he can't) and you are getting caught in all of the Iron Bowl traffic so he can get home in time to watch the last 5 minutes. Thank heavans for Blackberry Web Browser. But we made it back safely and he wasn't too terribly grouchy. Now to why my blog is titled thusly....I fell earlier...slipped on a pile of wet leaves while getting the mail. I now have some bruised knees and a nice little scrape on my elbow. But that is just it, it is just a scratch. And so are our days on earth....just a minor scratch on the surface. Another scratch in the ripple of time.....another holiday come and gone.

Thanksgiving

I am thankful for:

1. My husband of 18 years that finally figured out he was married to a crazy woman in the throws of roller coaster emotions, hot flashes and night sweats.

2. My 16, 14 & 10 year olds who have just managed to live while rolling their eyes at me and sucking air through their teeth.

3. My parents who thought it was a wonderful adventure to adopt a 15 year old who rolled her eyes and pouted beautifully.

4. That I had some wonderful years with my grandmother who thought that there would be a future use for her green metal canisters, used mason jars, her 1950s mangy fake fur, 40 cans of corn from 1972, and a patchwork suit case. So she kept them in the attic....just in case.

5. My grandfather who loved to cackle at the Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote and felt that we had slept our life away if we were in bed past 6am.

6. My MawMaw and PawPaw who showed me a biker man and his woman were quite lovely people.

7. My Uncle Ben who knew me before anyone else and still didn't think Mom and Dad were crazy to adopt me.

8. My brother and sister...who knew that they would outgrow that annoying need to pester me so they could have children of their own to pay them back?

9. My friends who know I am cracked...and love me for it.

10. Sarah Lee, who has allowed me to claim her concoctions of joy over the years. Cheesecake...mmmmm.

11. And seriously, I am truly thankful for all the wonderful quirky things that have happened in my life. God has blessed me abundantly with more joy and love than any one person deserves!!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL AND MAY YOU BE AS ABUNDANTLY BLESSED!!

Contemplating a Revolt

Ever just wanted to throw your hands up and just hollar "enough already"!!! I think that officially, that is where I am now. There is soooo much to do and definitely not enough time to do it. Corey had drs appointments today and I had to work. I still have to go home and clean my bathrooms and finish that "L" word. Yuck! Then you just know that there will be little birdies in my house just chirping for food that I will need to miracously produce since I didn't thaw anything out. And, I have a luncheon at work tomorrow, dinner for Thursday, and a family dinner on Friday, all of which require my cooking. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE to cook! That is one of my passions, I may just be the next Rachel Ray or Giada. Look out Food Network, rising star on the move! But, sometimes I just want someone to cook for me and me sit back and do nothing but burp, unzip my pants and settle in for some football through the back of my eyelids. HA! Dream on!! Actually, I am quite fortunate to have a very wonderful husband that takes direction well and will do as asked when prompted. This time of year just makes me a little crazy with all the self imposed requirements such as:

1. No one must be put out to bring anything to my house and therefore I will make a meal fit for a king and all his men.

2. The house must meet proper military/hospital cleanliness standards! Everyone in my house must stand by at1700 hours for instruction of duties.

3. I must supervise everyone like General McArthur and make everyone toe the line. Dress right.....Dress!

4. All holiday decor must be removed from it's proper box and hung just so....The president and his wife may stop by tomorrow for tea.

5. And if even one my military evolutions should go wrong....stand by to stand by.

Why do I do that to myself? Or bless their hearts, my family? Would it really be so bad if I just bought some ready made food from the deli for the luncheon? Will anyone truly notice if I just gave my bathroom a hit and a lick. I could always just close off the laundry room door and forget about it for a few days! And does each thing have to be put out just so? And lets not even discuss Christmas yet....Forward March!!

Mondays

As I sit here and look out my window, it is a dreary, foggy/rainy and somewhat miserable Monday. And, I am tired. Bone tired. I have always been affected by the weather to some degree and I guess today is no different. Maybe it was just that it was a long weekend...I don't know. Corey, my oldest, has this illness that none of the doctors can definitively diagnose and he had a bad weekend. It just seems you make two steps forward and life pushes you one step back. Then, we have company coming Wednesday and of course, I have to work. So I spent my weekend trying to get my house ready. I will get to spend Wed and Thurs with them and then we will go to Montgomery on Friday for a huge family Thanksgiving (Mom's side). Then, my favorite cousin, Cathy, is getting married on Saturday. It is just going to be a long week and it has already made tired thinking of all I have to do. I think I need a vacation....somewhere warm, somewhere the white sand has palm trees nestled throughout, somewhere I can just lay on a beach and do a mental dump for a few days. ....Rainy days and Mondays always get me down. And yes, I know, that song will be stuck in my head all day now.

It's Friday!!

I think that one can never truly appreciate Fridays without Mondays. I would further venture to say that is the case in many areas of our life. One can not appreciate the joys without the sadness, the wealth without the poverty, the good without the bad. I have learned so many things from my "Mondays" that have made my "Fridays" so much more pleasurable. But I wax poetic or philosophical or something.....whatever the case....I am thankful for Friday!

A New Day

Well an new day has dawned and I am unsure of what to do next. I have so many ideas bouncing around in my head and I have so many things I would like to do. I have this unbridled desire to create and craft something. I start off well and then fizzle out halfway through though. I run out of minutes in my hours and hours in my days. I have half constructed knit blankets, cross stitches, decorative trays and sewing projects. I have oodles and oodles of fabric squares just waiting to become quilts. I can see their beautiful mosaic patterns but can't seem to put needle to thread. I want so badly to be this wonderful creative genius but I don't think I got that gene. I want to paint but I don't know how and I can hear that artist screaming to be let out. I want to make all those neat crafts you see at bizarres but don't know where to begin. That is my dream, to one day own a shop(a little one) where I create and sale crafts all day. That is what I want to do when I grow up. My walls are bare at home because I can't decide what I want or how to go about starting. I have so many ideas and none seem to materialize. What to do? What to do? How can I be so decisive with everything else in my life and not be able to command this secret passion?